Canadian Mom Writer

Thoughts and Opinions on the writing life, working from home, and mothering.

Location: St Marys, Ontario, Canada

I am a work at home mom of 3 living in the country just outside of St Marys, Ontario. I am a freelance writer and copywriter just finally getting going on my business after baby #3. I was born and raised in Dublin, Ireland and have called Canada home for 16 years now.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

My child is secretly plotting to overthrow me…

Trying to recreate genius here….it’s going to be hard after it’s been 3 days since I wrote the original post in blogger and then lost the fricking thing…bastards…

But, I can try again. Here goes.

Last week was one of those weeks where, as a parent, you feel like running away from it all, from the sleepless nights, the dirty laundry that is never finished, the constant 1 step forward, 2 steps back approach to housecleaning, not to mention your evil spawn that is secretly plotting your demise.

Here’s how it happened. The son gave us a particularly tough night on Tuesday, it was as though he was hyped up on caffeine, you know he wanted to sleep, but he just kept thrashing around and waking himself up, and then refusing to go back to sleep. Finally, somewhere around 5am, the little blighter finally gave up and surrendered to some much needed shut eye, both of us bleary eyed and lying on the couch so that Daddy could at least get his rest (I've got to get up in an

Fast forward to the next day, after only 4 hours of sleep I wasn’t in that good of a mood, so decided to take the day off from any chores that involved me getting off the couch. Pretty hard to do when you have a very active 16 month old who likes to wear you down by throwing cheerios and dirt from the only remaining houseplant on the floor – repeatedly. And nap time was pretty much thrown to the wind as he didn’t wake up till 10:30. His babblings started to sound like Stewie Griffin…”Yes, yes…your anguish sustains me”, or maybe it was just the sleep deprivation talking. I was heading into the living room when I suddenly found myself airborne thanks to the strategically placed copy of Maclean’s left on the floor by ‘someone’. Luckily, the soft part of the armchair broke my fall and my face bounced off the cushion, remarkable as the coffe table was mere inches away. My right hip didn’t fare so well, I felt severe pain when I went down and realized when I was eventually able to get up, that I had landed on a plastic glass and broken it to pieces.

Perhaps the scariest part of this whole experience was when I was lying on the floor trying to stop myself from screaming “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!” I felt these little fingers softly patting my head. And I swear, what I heard was “There, there, Mommy, I see I didn’t factor in the distance you would fall against the angle in which your head would hit the coffee table…but next time, my sweet….next time….Buwahahaha”…

Paranoid? Perhaps…but you try dealing with a relentless toddler after no REM sleep for 2 days.


Blogger said...

Very funny. When it's not me! Only a fellow mom can understand the misery of such a restless night.

9:29 PM  

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