Canadian Mom Writer

Thoughts and Opinions on the writing life, working from home, and mothering.

Name:
Location: St Marys, Ontario, Canada

I am a work at home mom of 3 living in the country just outside of St Marys, Ontario. I am a freelance writer and copywriter just finally getting going on my business after baby #3. I was born and raised in Dublin, Ireland and have called Canada home for 16 years now.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

On Emigrating.

17 years ago today, I stepped off the plane onto Canadian soil for the first time. 17 years ago I said goodbye to the familiar, to family and friends and my life up to that point. I remember it like it was yesterday, the whole day burned into my memory for ever, the excitement mixed with fear and dread. I was almost 16 then, already worldly in my eyes, but in hindsight just a child. I have now passed the halfway point, and have been in Canada longer than the country of my birth. I feel sad about this, as though the Irish part of me is slowly slipping away and there is nothing I can do to stop it. In 17 years the ties have slowly been unraveling, first losing contact with friends, then the inevitable passing of loved ones - one of my worst fears when I left so long ago, the handwritten letters come less and less, even more so now with the accessibility of email. It’s something every immigrant must go through, and has gone through. I’ve never felt like I’ve truly belonged in this country, although I really haven’t felt like I’ve truly belonged anywhere in my life. However, now that I have my own family and home, that feeling is diminishing. There is nothing like the feeling of disconnection to make you yearn for your current home. I went on two trips without my husband and kids last year, and I’ve never wanted to be home more than when I was away from them. We’re never happy, always looking over the fence to see if the grass is indeed greener over there, testing it out for a bit before we make the final leap, and then still we hold onto what we had before, never allowing ourselves to truly enjoy the experience. I will always have that yearning for home, for places that we can go back to only in memory, but it’s not about just me any more, is it? I have a family now, a home and memories to build for them, where they will hopefully look back on in fondness some day. I found this quote today on quoteworld.org, and it sums up my experience in a nutshell.

"When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood."
Sam Ewing


Here's to 17 years in Canada, and many more. This is where I call home these days, it's no palace, but it's home to me and my family, and that's what counts.

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